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TAMPA BAY DANCER

Will Tampa Bay Dancer be the next Tampa Bay Modeling?
By C. A. Passinault
The following is an article about the next big thing, Tampa Bay Dancer, and includes a deeply personal story about an experience which would later inspire the creation of the Tampa Bay Dancer career resource site for professional dancers in the Tampa Bay market.

Will Tampa Bay Dancer be the next Tampa Bay Modeling?
Article Index

01. Dancers are the new model
02. The mis perception of dancing in Tampa Bay
03. The dancer in my soul, and the tragedy which became an inspiration for Tampa Bay Dancer
04. She wanted to be a part of my career, as well as the princess in my life
05. Fallen Angel - Accepting what was not to be as a dancer loses her dream
06. A hot modeling shoot, and the beginning of the end of us
07. Compromise - Believing what you want to as my ex asks me to DJ her wedding! Also, why I came to hate con artists and scams.
08. Tampa Bay Dancer - How the past inspires the future

PREVIOUS: A hot modeling shoot, and the beginning of the end - Dancers are the new model - NEXT: Tampa Bay Dancer - How the past inspires the future

Compromise - Believing what you want to as my ex asks me to DJ her wedding! Also, why I came to hate con artists and scams.

So, a couple of months passed. I was shocked, but not at all surprised, to hear a message from her on my event planning company voice mail that she was getting married to her roommate (the one which she had denied dating, and had cheated on if she had been dating him all along), and that, (drumroll, please....) that she wanted ME to DJ HER wedding!
At that moment, I no longer had any doubt. I realized that she had severe mental problems.
Knowing that I was professionally obligated to do a good job at any job that I contracted, regardless of what my personal feelings were, and realizing that I would be both inspired and motivated while DJ’ing her wedding to air all of her dirty laundry and make an ass of her (I would have reverted to my early underground DJ days of 1990-1991, and spent the entire reception making cracks on her and generally making a mockery of the whole affair, which would have probably resulted in my equipment being trashed, and in me getting lynched), I didn’t return that call.
So, she was upset that I had walked away (and I found this out after her ex-husband #2 / my ex-best friend, who is not the con artist roommate, told me that she had been crying to him over the phone about me not returning her call, and about me ignoring her). I later found out from her sister, who did some modeling for me in 1999, and who was hanging out with me, that she and her con artist roommate husband scammed the DJ and the photographer who they contracted for their wedding, and they did not pay them. Was that their plan for me? Because they ripped off a photographer and a DJ, did it somehow make them feel smart and superior, that they had outsmarted people? Did they feel entitled to rip them off?
Well, things do catch up to you when you con people. I also learned that the con artist roommate / boss/ husband had been committing insurance fraud, and that he lost his license because it caught up to him. One thing that I learned that he had been doing was that he was writing policies, and then pocketed the money. In cases where the customer got into an accident, he would back-date a policy so that they were “covered”. He’d also do that for uninsured drivers after they had accidents, ripping off insurance companies.
Don’t ask me details, or how he did it, because I’m not an insurance expert, but this is what I heard, from people who knew. I do know, for certain, that he did lose his license over allegations of insurance fraud. If he did get caught, how he avoided prison for committing felonies is beyond me. What a dirtbag.
Hey, you are what you do.
In early 2000, right before I turned pro as a photographer, and had moved into a new place, she called me up, again. She was doing tryouts for dancers at her relative’s dance studio, and wanted me to help judge. We had a discussion, and I asked her if it was normal to marry a roommate. She didn’t know what to say. We talked some more, and she said that he was setting up a computer for her. I expressed surprise that he knew how to do that, and she exclaimed “Well, he knows how to make money!”. I laughed, and remarked, sarcastically “I suppose that makes everything all right. That makes him smart, and makes him a good person and a real man. It’s interesting to see that things can be bought”.
Of course, she didn’t get it.
Already experienced in casting, and curious, I checked it out the audition. I decided to judge.
She was friendly with me, and it went well. It was weird, though, with some five or six year old girl, the daughter of the con man, calling her mommy.
We talked on a the phone some more, and then it ended.
We were in a discussion one day, and she said that her husband did not like her talking to me. I replied that with our history, that he saw me as a threat. She then said that I was like her brother, and that he shouldn’t feel that way, and that he was probably just being protective of her because he did not her to get hurt.
Yeah, whatever. In her world, it must me normal for brothers and sisters to date, and to get intimately involved. She was out of her mind.
One morning, I received a phone call which hung up. I called it back, and the con artist answered the phone. “Who is this?!?!” he demanded.
I smiled. “This is C. A. Passinault, from Horizons Entertainment (what Eventi Events was called in 1999). Is there something that we can help you with, such as an event, or a wedding?”
He angrily slammed down the phone, and hung up.
Another satisfied client, perhaps?
I haven’t talked to her, since, but she did post this on her Myspace profile in 2010 just after she friended one of my profiles:

“I guess you just don't know how much it hurts. I cannot think you know and just don't care. Destiny provides one's just deserts By turning out one just as would be fair. Just as a child learns to its delight That lying sets one fabulously free, So you say "love" to get the rapture right, Getting so the most you can from me. And then, of course, you tire of your pleasure, As those who seek but pleasure often do, And sacrifice by far the greater treasure Upon the altar where you worship you. Justice would demand you be the fool, But you are far more ignorant than cruel”.

Well, I know that she didn’t actually write this, and wonder where she got it from. She is certainly no writer, and this has nothing to do with her 8th grade education.
Was this aimed at me, and, if so, was it a case of displaced blame, where someone accuses another of doing what they are guilty of? Did she convince herself that I was the one using her and playing games, when it was the other way around? It’s not like my dancer ever accepted responsibility for her actions, or ever admitted her mistakes to anyone, including herself.
She’s damn right about one thing, though. I do think highly of myself, and, now, I do put myself, and what I do, before anyone. It wasn’t always like that.
You see, I never used her. I really did love her, and I loved her more than any woman before, or since (and I’ve had several girlfriends since, who were all beautiful, talented, educated, classy, and good to me, and it didn’t work out because I did not love them. They deserved more, but that’s just the way that it worked out; I can’t dictate to my heart how to feel. Those women, however, did show me what real women were, and it has helped me sort out what a dysfunction piece of crap that my dancer love was). I know that if she had felt about me the same way that I felt about her, that it would have worked out, and that we would be together now. As far as I am concerned, I was the only one who was sincere about how I felt, and was the only one who truly loved the other.
This is why I tolerated her and her deteriorating mental condition over an eight year period. This is why I suffered. I was always fair to her, but she could never say the same. She certainly was never good to me, or good for me. If what I had with her was pleasure, she has a funny way of defining what pleasure means. Being around her at the end was absolute misery.
I know now that love is not enough. I know that, in order to have a lasting, balanced relationship, that it must be built on trust and respect. She didn’t respect anyone, obviously, herself included, and I lost that respect for her over time. I certainly could not trust her. What kind future, or relationship, could we have had? I wasn’t going to buy her, like that other guy did, if that’s what it took. I certainly wasn’t going to fight for her.
Well, as much as we can try, you cannot control who you fall in love with, as the heart has its own will. You can, however, govern what you do with those feelings, and how you act on them, and, in time, it became easier to deal with the realities of a faux relationship which could never be realized, and it was time to move on. For me, it was true love. For her, it was something else. We were never meant to be, which was fine, as she never really deserved me.
At any rate, moving along. I read a tiny sidebar newspaper article about them in late 2000, from my office at the bank, when they were described as a “couple offering a dinner delivery service”. In the article, she used her maiden name, and he used one of his alias names. I thought that this was suspicious. He also claimed, in the article, that he had worked in the insurance industry, and had quit because he got burnt out. Didn’t he mean “got caught committing insurance fraud”?.
That business venture, of course, failed shortly after that. I can’t help but wonder if his fair maiden-named wife got into trouble because she offered herself as dessert on all of the deliveries? That’s speculation on my part, but it fits what I know about her.
I’ve heard lots of stories over the years, among them that she cheated on him, and he caught her once, but that he tolerated it. They also had two children, and those are some kids that I feel sorry for. Why? Because their parents are terrible role models, and because I suspect that he had two kids with her to anchor her to the marriage that he had arranged when he bought her, and that he wanted her to remain as a stay-at-home mom (if, in fact, they actually ARE his). Having children to anchor a marriage is horrible, and it is not fair to the kids. I know that I’m making a serious assumption here, and that I could never know the facts, but this is how I feel. I feel that this is the case here. After all, con man bought a puppy to distract her during our weekend getaway. Do you think that he kept the puppy? No, they got rid of it soon after our trip and shoot, as it had served its purpose. Con artists tend to use others to get what they want, or what they feel entitled to. With kids, you usually keep them around, but still, this man had kids from previous marriages, and I’m sure that those kids keep their marriage anchored.
Just don’t be surprised if she moves on and finds husband # 4 after the kids are grown up. What do I think? I think that she is going to die alone. Although I still love the person that she used to be, and I cherish the memories that we had when she was herself, she is dead to me now, especially as she is now. The dancer that I knew is died long ago. She is entirely another person, now, and not someone who I would like to know, or someone who belongs in my life (I keep hearing reports of her using two I.D.s. one in her maiden name, and one in her married name. I keep hearing that the husband borrows her identity from time to time, too, calling himself a shortened version of her name which could apply to either gender. I keep hearing stories about them renting trashy houses to live in, and that he supports them by running scams, scams which he involves her in, and scams which he taught her to do. I also hear stories that he sells mobile homes for a company, and that he secretly refers business to a shell company in his wife’s name to move the mobile homes that he sells. Is that ethical? Does the company that he works for know what he is doing this? Why can’t people be honest and honorable? Why can’t people be honest about what they are in business to do, and run a legitimate business? I don’t like shady people, and they have no business in my life. With my history with her, that’s another reason. She lost me, and it is her doing. I am also satisfied that I am a better man, and a better person, than her husband is, in every way. I’m sure that she knows this, too, and that she has to live with the fact that she settled for a counterfeit man instead of a real one. She didn’t play anyone but herself).
She and the con man don’t have to worry about me doing anything, though, as I merely find this to be amusing at this time. I’m not doing a thing to them. I can’t do anything to them that they are not already doing to themselves. It’s not my deal. If they truly are running scams, it will catch up to them, and I’ll have a good laugh when it does.
Her passion for dancing, however, as a performing art, and all of the dance that I was exposed to growing up around her, however, remain a part of me. What she was, and our memories, are a part of me. This is one reason why I, too, have a passion for dance.
I know that this has all been a little personal, and, well, it needed to be told. I’ve been through a lot, and I’ve learned from it. Hopefully, through this back story, people will understand my position in many things. With Tampa Bay Dancer, it is my hope that integrity will be restored to the profession of dancing in the Tampa Bay area. I’ve seen the worst dancers, and have learned from them, and I’ve seen the best dancers, as well, and have been inspired to go on and work on some great things.

PREVIOUS: A hot modeling shoot, and the beginning of the end - Dancers are the new model - NEXT: Tampa Bay Dancer - How the past inspires the future

PUBLISHED 05/03/11

UPDATED 05/03/11

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